My Essay vs. Rubric Scoring

Bragging about one's own work may not come as easily to some as it might for others but focusing on their good points is a probably a good exercise for the soul....probably.

Thesis:
I believe my thesis statement would fall into the 'A' category according to the rubric since it is easily identifiable, has a topic to discuss, and a reason why people should be discussing it.

Documentation:
Oh the agony of citing. However, I think that I am slowly getting the hang of it and have worked hard at correctly citing my sources. That said, there seem to still be a few minor flaws to work out but nothing too extreme, so this particular part of the essay would probably fall under a 'B'.

MLA format:
 Sadly, despite a lot of work put into my 'Works Cited' page, I forgot one minor detail. Putting in Times New Roman format. So due to that it would probably fall under the 'B' category since the rest of it has been done properly. 

3 Improvements to Draft

Sabastian Steven's Draft:

• His grammatical forming of sentences has been dramatically improved since his last rough draft, with the idea being better represented and much more engaging.
• He cut back on the use of "I, we, and our" which really contributed to a broader use of vocabulary which vastly improved it, though I am still slightly uneasy since those words were not taken out of the paper entirely. However, they now contribute more to the paper in this latest version.
• Added a tab space at the beginning of the essay. I think that was merely a typo, but that still made it look a lot better.

My Rough Draft:

• I refined my sentences more here and there in the hopes of making it "flow"better, easier to understand, and hopefully more engaging.
• I added in another paragraph that gave an uplifting look on the situation.
•  Also added in a few more references from the school's database.

Defining Ethos, Pathos, and Logos

Ethos: When the information or subject is quoted from a credible source such as doctors, engineers,              or scientists.

Pathos: Using an emotion to sway the reader's opinion about one's topic or argument.

Logos: An argument that appeals to logically sense by presenting itself as reasonable and
            well-structured opinion.

Brainstorm: 3 S.B.S

Ethos:

1. Dr. Mark Hyman, practicing family physician and Director of the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine, argues that not only is high fructose corn syrup an indicator of nutritionally-depleted food, but it is also not another form of cane sugar, as it isn’t biochemically identical or , most importantly, similarly processed by the body.
2. Dr. Joseph Mercola, a practicing osteopathic physician and award winner of the Emord & Associated P.C "Freedom of Informed Choice", argues that products like sweeten drinks are one of the biggest contributes to obesity by pointing out that one vitamin water equals three Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
3. University of Utah researchers have found that feeding high fructose corn syrup to female mice not only reduces their fertility rate but also cuts their lifespans in half.

Pathos:

1. If you are a woman who is consuming high fructose corn syrup, there is a possibility that it is not only reducing your fertility rate but also causing a massive decline of your health.
2. Consuming high fructose corn syrup may not only effect the parent's health but also the health of the child while they are still in their mother's womb.
3. In recent studies, children as young as five have been diagnosed with diabetes. An adult's disease that twenty years ago would never have even been considered an affliction one's children would have to suffer through.

Logos:

1. Some companies, due to debates over the affects of corn syrup, strive to produce products sweetened with cane sugar instead. So perhaps one should consider buying such products instead or simply by fruits in an effort to curve sugar cravings.
2. Considering the fact that there have been extreme negative affects on mice fed high fructose corn syrup, perhaps the human population ought to consider not buying products with such ingredients in them.
3. When so many people, including those with credentials, are arguing against the use of corn syrup, perhaps the every day person should look into such arguments and reach a conclusion for themselves.

Chapter 16

       Personal Reaction: Never use Wikipedia as a source material no matter what! And always check your source materials. Pretty much what we students have to taught throughout most of our scholarly careers. This chapter doesn't offer much as far as new material but it is a good review over how to find, search, and evaluate sources for certain topics.

        Professional Reaction: This chapter is helpful and should not be overlooked. It emphasizes the value of evaluating sources as a key point in creating an informative and credible essay that sources facts more than opinions. Reading this chapter will help students determine which sources will give credible information and also direct them to databases that provide trustworthy material.